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The average American family has a lot to worry about these days. With rising healthcare costs, job losses, and an uncertain economy in general, families are already concerned about retaining their savings, having retirement funds, and helping to pay for their children’s education. Most people probably never thought about having to take care of an aging parent or another family member with special needs.

Today, many working families are also faced with additional financial expenses, time commitments, and emotional strains that they may have never considered—because they now realize that they have a fundamental and necessary responsibility to become primary caregivers to their aging parents or other loved ones. Just the added time requirements and monetary costs alone have increased the concern and stress levels of families who are already burdened and worried about what the future holds.

In a recent article, healthcare experts noted that adults who are caring for an aging parent struggle with a wide range of emotions:  ambivalence, depression, guilt, mixed feelings, resentment, sadness, and even anger. Psychoanalyst, Roberta Satow, explained these emotional reactions, “No matter how much you love your parents, it’s going to disrupt your life.”

Betty Seckinger is one such daughter turned parental caregiver. This 60-year-old, retired, telephone technician currently is responsible and caring for her 84-year-old mother-in-law as well as overseeing her own 86-year-old mother. Add babysitting her grandchildren into the mix and you may get a sense of why people in such positions can feel overwhelmed—to say the least. Said Seckinger, “You deal with a lot of ups and downs.” She continued, “You get frustrated and you want to be able to help your parents, but you don’t want your own health to go downhill.”

A Gallop poll of 500 baby boomers with living parents showed that over 30% of them are providing financial or personal care assistance to a parent. The poll also found that nearly half of all those who are providing such help have felt at least some additional stress.

Gail Gibson Hunt, President of the National Alliance for Caregiving, noted that caregivers seem to feel that they are not doing enough. “Lots of times they will sacrifice their job, their other family members, and sometimes their own kids or their spouses to take on this responsibility for their parents.”

Children caring for their aging parents is such a growing cultural phenomenon that NBC News even produced a television special on this subject entitled, Trading Places. The network series showed the personal stories of some of its most well-known journalists as they shared their concerns and challenges associated with caring for their parents. Brian Williams, Ann Curry, and the late Tim Russert were a few of the personalities profiled in this excellent, informative, and touching series. According to the program, one in four U.S. households currently provides care for a relative or friend age 50 and over.

Brian Williams deftly discussed the mixed feelings that naturally come with the role reversal of those who now care for the parents who once cared for them. “When you can't always be there, there's the guilt of not being able to help.”

The ever-increasing health, physical, and mental difficulties faced by aging parents keep life for their caregiving children unbalanced. In fact, millions of baby boomers are now finding themselves being direct or indirect caregivers for an aging parent in various stages of need. And as longevity and life-expectancies increase, the caregiver’s journey can potentially be a stressfully difficult and long commitment which may even require more years than raising a child.

Williams concluded that taking care of an aging parent not only requires commitment and patience, but often the assistance of others. “[There are many] people who help watch over my Dad, like his grandchildren and son-in-law—even our family friends, the Gilroys, make sure my Dad gets driven wherever he needs. They are all saints, but none of us can work miracles, and we all need help now and then.”

Companies like Home Evolutions offer house renovations, maintenance services, and personal support that can assist caregiving children with their aging parents and possibly alleviate some of their stress and even financial burdens. Caregiving children have this other choice that they should consider—their aging parents have the option to remain living in their own homes. As a result, caregivers can find some peace of mind because their parents can continue to live safely and more independently while they age comfortably in place. This aging-in-place option can also possibly save caregiving children money, especially when compared to the long-term costs of assisted living and care facilities.

Home Evolutions would like to help you and your parents or other senior family members live with less worry and stress. Contact us today for a personalized assessment of your family’s home care needs.